Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: How was your day?

Me: It was going so well until I got chased by a police dog.

Brenda: Oh, sweet lord, why was a police dog chasing you?

Me: I'm not sure. Maybe it was the Beggin' Strips t-shirt I was wearing.

Brenda: I told you that shirt was ridiculous.

Me: Whatever. But as a Public Service Announcement, if you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then onto a little see-saw, then jump through a ring of fire. Apparently, they're trained for that.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Durante Made A Living With That Nose

I really wish it were talent alone that made actors succeed in Hollywood. But (big shocker) looks and "who knows whom" still co-reigns with ability. Some individuals succeed without perfect looks and even with somewhat flawed looks. Go »

Crazy For You, Baby

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: You know how crazy I am for you? Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids. me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »

Take Me Out...

It was baseball night in Bowie. As part of Lauren's tenth birthday celebration, we went to see the Bowie Baysox. Highlights of the evening included: Nearly getting nailed by a foul ball while distracted by getting pizza sauce off my pants. Go »

Is This A Country Song Or What?

Playing a country song backwards, as the old joke goes, and your wife comes back, your dog is alive again, and your trucks rolls over onto its wheels. The Mickster has got it bad in Oscar week as his beloved chihuahua died in his arms. Not to make fun of what must have been a horrible event, but did he really need to display his mourning by attending a New York fashion show the very next day? Go »

Santa Claus Can Kiss My Ass

That title is almost blasphemous in the American belief system, I know. We took the girls to a local ice cream store, Coldstone's, to get ice cream and to see and get a photograph taken with Santa. It occured to me that Santa gets a lot of credit for stuff that I do and provide. Go »