Lucky Number 5 | Tragic Comedy

Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading.
"You should probably play the lottery," she encouraged.
I responded, "I don't believe in stuff like that."
She asked, "Why not? It's better than most reasons."
So, I told her a story that happened before we were married.
Once, I woke up at 5:55 a.m. The temperature was 55 degrees and the humidity was 55%. I turned the TV to channel 5 and when I got up, saw that the date was May 5th. I thought it was a little creepy.
So, I go to work and see that my odometer read 55,555.5 miles. I get to work, go to the fifth floor and find I have 5 messages.
So, IT DAWNS ON ME!
I rushed to the racetrack. My entrance ticket cost me $5.00 and I'm ushered to Section 5, Row 5, Seat 5. In the fifth race, I pick the fifth horse. And with an understanding that Fate had spoken, I put my entire bank account on it.
Brenda was sure that I had won.
Anticlimactically, I told her, "My horse came in fifth. Therefore..."

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Real Life Comedy/Tragedy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: Why did you marry me? Brenda: Because you're funny, Me: I thought it was because I was good in bed. Brenda: You see? Go »

And A Super Thank You To You

"I can fly!" "I can burn things up just by looking at them!" "I can change the density of my body from the heaviest metal to the most ephmeral gas!" Go »

Exercise By Proxy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I just watched a guy do 50 push-ups. Can you do that? Me: Sure. Go »

What'd I Step In?

Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe. Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky) Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead. Go »

My Favorite Memory

Yesterday, we held the memorial service for my father-in-law. There were approximately 100 people attending and afterward about 1/3 gathered at his home for a small meal and sharing remembrances. I chose to share my memory of the time, twenty years ago, when I asked him for his blessing for my planned proposal to Brenda, his eldest daughter. Go »